User Profile

I was born from an Immaculate Conception, but since Jesus could perform miracles and turn water into booze, the authors of the bible chose to feature him a little more prominently. Beleive me, if i could turn a keg of water into a keg of beer, I could get into any fraternity in the good ol' U S of A and chicks would be knocking each other down to get on my D. That's me, the other son of God, the cause of another University of Florida binge drinking death. FUCK YOU BERNIE!!! People that know the truth about me like to call me Jesus Two, but I prefer J2. It's a little more casual. If you really want to know, my Dad (I am the son of God, so I don't like to call Him by his first name. It's just weird. Like the kids back when you were younger who had dirty hippie parents and called them by their first name. "Hey Bob and Linda, I'm home. It just doesn't work) given talent is the ability to be kind of chubby and not pick up chicks. Worst Ability Ever!!! I think Ghostbusters is the best "film" ever made in the history of cinema and french toast is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to sliced white bread.

I am not very attractive, but I make up for it with sheer willpower. Due to my lack of willpower, i am a single, lonely man. I think New York is the best place on the planet and riding the subways brings me great joy. I think Puerto Rican women are the most fertile of all the different races, and that's why they start getting pregnant at 9 and dont stop till they're 65. I def don't care for fat chicks or guys that never wear sleeves.

Men and women won't truly be equal until I can punch a chick right in the face and it won't matter.

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